“Who would you be if you weren’t who you are now?”

That question and its variants has been going through my head these past several weeks. For all kinds of good reasons, everything in my BJ (before Jerusalem) work life has ended. There is nothing that I was doing to be creative or to make money that still exists today.

That is a very vulnerable place to be. It is also very exciting. It means that I have been handed a brand-new journal and have opened it to page 1, ready to write with a brand new pen. 

I bring to this new season of my life, to shift the metaphor, years of experience and history. In that sense, it is not a completely blank slate. That is only possible for a newborn. However, as I type this today, all the things that our culture values that identify a person, put them into someone else’s mental silo, are gone for me.

The test is to learn to rejoice more in “being” than in “doing.” When everything one has done is gone, then the true essence of one’s being is more likely to rise to the surface.

Sometimes, that rising is the dross that needs to be burned off. Sometimes, it is a clear diamond that was being forged under years of heavy pressure from surface forces. And sometimes, it is all still TBD (to be determined).

As I get up each day, no longer do many externals define my schedule. The time clock, the deadline, the must-check e-mails are mostly gone. Yet, I am not retired. I am simply in transition, on a threshhold, between what was and what is not yet revealed.

Exciting and terrifying. Stay tuned!