I am also Judas.

I get so caught up in my causes and concerns that I miss the Christ and how His causes and concerns could, would enfold and uplift mine.

And then when things don’t go the way I believe they should (and I believe that that is also the way God wants them to go), then instead of repenting like Peter did, I go out and hang myself on guilt and embarrassment, and vow to move to a desert island and never speak up again and begin the fasting I never quite get to when I am on a roll. The thirty pieces of my silver idea burn my soul.

O God, you would forgive me and restore me with a real mission as you did Peter. If only I would give up my Judas pride and ask You. May the field of blood in my life become the Field of Blood in Your Life.